The Night She Became a Woman, and the World Burned

Nandile nervously swayed, her fingers fidgeting as she peered at the ends of her navy reed skirt that lay in three tiers. Even from here, she could hear the wild beat of drums, thrum of the bass guitar, and the cry of the trumpet as singers harmonised in time with the lively tempo. The energy crackled in the air, weaving itself into every fibre of the space, including her. 

Taking a quick suck of air, she pulled her shoulders back and strode into the dance hall. The reeds on her skirt dutifully swayed in rhythm in a wave-like movement. Her top, a one-shoulder navy number that ended mid-chest, displayed her flat belly embellished in gold paint.

Like all the other females, she was barefoot. Her face was painted in gold and white markings distinct to Lion Totem females, her head decorated with canine lion teeth designed as a crown. The lion remains were from the Totem War, centuries before Nandile’s time.

Today was the reed dance ceremony. The event started at dawn, with only females present, from newborn babes to old as dirt ancient Spirit Walkers. Half the day was spent traversing the Southern African bush on sacred land in the hilltops of Swaziland with an ancient female member of their Totem. During this time, women passed down knowledge of what being a female of their Totem meant.

This included lessons on how to behave, dress, and conduct yourself in different ceremonies, as well as embarrassing conversations about sex and sexual partners. Most important was the gifting of protection beads blessed by a Healing Shaman and passed down from an Alpha to a girl who today would be seen as a woman.

Nandile Zulu stopped dreaming about this day when she discovered she could not be a Spirit Walker; her heart defect the culprit and thief of her happily ever after. As an act of emotional survival, she blocked out the entire notion of having a mate, a gift bestowed on Spirit Walkers. She decided then she would never have a meaningful relationship, even with the boy she had always loved: Caleb.  Nope, Nandile would be a Grounder, a non-Spirit Walker, for the rest of her life. Luckily for her, her ancestors had granted her this one treasure, a night with Caleb to mark her adulthood. She would want it with no one else. She could pretend, just this once, that she could be his forever. When things got hard in the future - because as a Lion Totem female who was a Grounder, she would enter marriage alliances, designed for the advancement of their Totem - at least she could think back to this moment when Caleb escorted her to the reed dance ceremony. 

“Nandi, thank you so much. I cannot believe Kofi accepted my request to be my escort!” Chenoa Ahote bumped into Nandile, a wide grin splattered on her face, her Navaho words running into each other. Chenoa was in a multi-shade, whitish-grey outfit with a wolf’s head over her silken sable hair, making her look slightly taller than usual. 

Nandile recalled baulking at the sight of Kofi and Caleb when the rugby team had come to walk them on stage at school earlier that week. It was a yearly ritual for all the reed dance ceremony females to be escorted by eligible bachelors from various industries. 

Honestly, she had been surprised to see the handsome duo there. Every girl pretty much swooned and Chenoa was not an exception. Her dark eyes fixed on Kofi. Since they were good friends, Nandile thought she would do her Wolf Totem friend a solid when her teacher had proposed Nandile be escorted by Kofi.

Instead, she recommended Kofi escort Chenoa, a notorious man-eater and with very strong Spirit Walker energy, one of the few Spirit Walkers they had at their school. It was not a secret that Spirit Walkers’ sexual drives and desires were just more intense than Grounders.’

Some Grounders were Spirit Walker groupies, refusing to sleep with anyone else, hoping they would spark a mating bond and then transform to a Spirit Walker. Nandile did not know much about that, as Spirit Walker mating rituals were pretty much scrubbed from the history books. Only rumours remained, the knowledge belonging exclusively to Spirit Walkers, because if one killed a Spirit Walker’s mate, they killed the Spirit Walker.

“Yeah Nands, thanks,” Kofi Nchuku added in Twi and winked at Nandile, a grin of male satisfaction coating his face, ignoring Nandile’s glare. She hated that nickname, and everyone knew it including Kofi.

Yet the mere idea that he was going to get some tonight probably clouded his sensibilities. Surely a level of inflated ego, since Buffalo Totems were known for their appetite in bed; but those were the Spirit Walkers. Kofi was a Grounder and Chenoa would eat him alive. Nandile doubted he would care, anyway. Probably wanted that outcome.

Kofi wore his Totem skins, buffalo hides that fit his lower torso like a glove, leaving his entire upper body on display. The muscles attracted glances from men and women alike and Nandile could tell he loved the attention. Three copper bracelets snaked his forearms all the way to his elbows, and an emblem with the Buffalo Totem crest dangled from the chain around his neck. 

Chenoa’s eyes rolled back and she bit her lower lip in female appreciation. She pulled Kofi’s large six-foot one frame towards the dancefloor of hardened mud. Every time the dancers stomped on the floor, specks of light glowed, illuminating their steps. 

Circular tables with multi-coloured tablecloths guarded the perimeter of the dancefloor. Older couples who acted as chaperones watched with warmth at the crop of girls who were now women. Their surroundings of tawny and dry savannah grass provided a false sense of privacy. 

Floating fairy lights cast a warm glow for the swaying bodies below, while multiple Totem Hunters and Totem Guard Enforcers stood sentry to ensure the safety of all the females present. No Alpha would risk having so many females in one area without that protection. Totem Hunters reported directly to the respective Totem Guardians, and the Totem Guard Enforcers were brought here by the governing body, the Totem Guard. 

The music cued for the Barn Owl Totem’s traditional dance. Kofi and Chenoa raised their arms backwards, mimicking the graceful arch of a bird before stepping into each other’s space, Kofi clasping his hand around his partner’s waist as they swayed their bodies in time with the music before quickly and gracefully swirling away from one another, never breaking eye contact. 

As the next song played, Nandile raised her brow at the expert movement that Kofi displayed. He was wellversed in most dances as he and Chenoa stepped in sync for the Meerkat Totem’s traditional dance that required participation from other couples on the dancefloor. Her cousin-brother was cocky, but clearly he deserved every chip on his broad-ass shoulders. Nandile smiled to herself, swaying to the drums. She could not wait until Caleb arrived so she could dance the night away.

“Nandile?” A deep voice pulled her attention from the vibrant dancefloor. Nandile turned, surprised to see Derek Khan approaching her hesitantly. At full height he stood at six-foot, his head covered with thick curly raven hair and the darkest grey eyes that glowed against his deep brown skin. He was dressed well; however, not in Rhino colours, but Lion Totem colours.

“Hi Derek?” Nandile greeted in a question. She had not expected to see him here, or at least not without Tiffany. Derek Khan was - as Tiffany called it - a gorgeous geek. They were on again, off again - Nandile needed a scorecard to keep track. The navy suit with gold accents brought out purple hues in his complexion. Really, he looked great, and Nandile understood why Tiffany could not quite let go of him. 

Derek was barefoot and bare-chested with a rhino horn hanging around his neck, his only visible homage to his Totem. Subtle, understated, but classy, as to be expected as a Rhino Totem male. If he ever became a Spirit Walker, he would be ripped. Literally, Nandile had never met a Spirit Walker that was not ripped. Something about the animal within them making them stronger, faster. Sexier? Derek scrutinised his fingers, as though nervous, as he purposely avoided her appraisal. 

What the hell? 

“What’s wrong? Is Tiffany okay?” Nandile whispered, gingerly reaching out to Derek without making direct physical contact, only to make him look at her. Tiffany had said she would be attending the ceremony later that evening as a guest. Her Healing Shaman exams caused her to catch the last flight out of Burkina Faso to Swaziland. 

“Yes, she is fine. Thank you for asking.” Derek’s voice was strained as he spoke in Hindi. A bead of sweat trickled from his forehead. It was very unlike Derek, who had a soft demeanour. Tonight, though, he was pensive. Whatever he had to tell her, it would not be good. 

“All right, what is it?” Nandile asked slowly. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she imagined a hundred possibilities, none of them good. 

“Caleb…” Derek began, and all Nandile could think was that Caleb was not okay. She was already preparing to go wherever she needed to go to be by his side. He was not going to be alone. If she were able to, she would be beside him, always. 

“Listen. Caleb asked me to tell you that he is not coming.” Derek’s words came out so fast. He was clearly panicked, likely from the way Nandile was already ready to walk out of the reed dance ceremony. 

“What?” Nandile replied in a forced whisper. She halted mid-stride, turning slowly to face Derek because maybe if she watched the words leave his mouth, she would understand them better because she thought she heard Derek say Caleb was not coming, but her mind was halfway to a hospital. 

“Caleb is unable to come and sends his deepest regret. He has tasked me with escorting you, if you do not mind,” Derek began as he shifted nervously, his eyes fixed on the floor. Yells erupted from the dancefloor behind them. Nandile did not bother looking. She knew they could only be doing a Go Away Bird Totem dance. 

“I know I am not your first choice. Though, I will add that I was Tiffany’s escort, and she was happy,” he added quickly with a smile, but it faltered when he caught the expression on Nandile’s face. His deep brown skin flushed as he spoke.

Of course, he was not thinking of the entire reed dance ceremony, just a dance with her and probably a brotherly hug. Because Nandile would never sleep with Derek - she was not interested - and he was Tiffany’s. Nandile wanted Caleb, and right now she felt like she just swallowed a mouthful of sawdust. Caleb had rejected her on one of the most important nights of her life, and he did not even have the decency to tell her to her face. 

“You look great, Derek; thank you.” Nandile forced a smile that she knew did not travel to her eyes. She could feel Derek’s observation of her, always watching, always knowing. Nandile was cleaning up Caleb’s mess, but it did not change how she felt.

As soon as Nandile stepped onto the glowing dancefloor, her eyes met Kofi’s confusion, like a neon sign on his face. He made to come over, but Nandile shook her head: no. She would be damned if she let Caleb ruin Chenoa’s night. Her classmate was happy, and with the strength from her ancestors, Nandile would be as well. Plus, she did not need Kofi raging about what he would do to his best friend. She was just going to have a night like she had always imagined, the night her own life had changed for ever; the night she knew she would never be good enough because she would never be a Spirit Walker. 

By the end of the night, Nandile had made an effort to enjoy the only dance she did, the Lion Totem traditional dance, as was obligatory. But the rest of the night, she quizzed Derek about Tiffany and how law school was going for him. He was based in Ghana, the judicial capital of the Totem Guard, where all the Totem Tribunal cases took place. 

As they sat at one of the tables set for two, she took a sip of her chilled water while glancing at the dancefloor. Just watching the other women transcend into utter happiness gave her a rank taste in her mouth, which she swallowed down with another sip of water. She wondered if Tiffany knew, and that was why she was not there. Phones were not allowed at the ceremony due to its ritualistic nature, so Nandile could not be sure. Yet that feeling in her throat would not dissipate. She knew it was not Derek’s fault he was here.

“Well, it looks like Kofi has landed intimate contact,” Derek commented, a bit of disdain in his tone. Nandile followed Derek’s gaze and caught Chenoa giving Kofi a kiss on the cheek. She had initiated intimate contact by touching him on his face, so Kofi took advantage and kissed her forehead. No one kissed on the lips unless they were mates and since Spirit Walkers kept the notion of mates a secret, you never saw anyone kiss on the lips. 

Chenoa had turned tomato red and clasped her hands over her mouth when a squeal of delight erupted from her. Her joy was contagious, and Nandile found herself grinning for her classmate as she watched the couple discuss something. Kofi glanced over at Nandile before he bowed deeply, bidding his date goodnight. 

Chenoa smiled warmly and winked, her eyes darting over to where Nandile and Derek sat together. A flash of sadness crossed her features, then, as though recalling Lion Totem females hated anyone feeling sorry for them, she schooled her features and gave a short nod before mingling with other Totem Females, her wolf head darting into the crowd.

Nandile bit back a sigh. She had successfully ruined Kofi’s night, even though she had made an effort not to. Well, there was no point in continuing her charade. She needed space and desperately wanted to go home. 

Fortunately, Derek had been the perfect gentleman. She wished Tiffany would get out of her head with fear and admit that she loved this man standing before her because after this night, Nandile would forever be Team Derek. 

Derek and Nandile exited the dancehall, Kofi trailing behind at a respectable distance. Derek tensed every time Kofi was around, his hands flexed in silent restraint. He did not seem to like Kofi. Nandile assumed Derek had a misconception of the relationship between Tiffany and Kofi. The feeling only worsened when Tiffany had tried to make Derek jealous by acting like she and Kofi were a couple. 

Nandile could not blame him. Tiffany and Kofi were close, but it was always platonic; brotherly and sisterly. It just did not help that Buffalo Totems had a bad rep of being Mister Steal-Your-Girls, but Kofi would never do that because that cocky bruit had honour.

“Goodnight, Derek. Thank you for a lovely evening.” Nandile hugged Derek. He returned the gesture with a warm smile lighting his kind face. 

“I had a pleasant evening as well, Ma Nandile.” Derek bowed his head, using the honorific for unmarried women, and placed his hand over his chest. Nandile bit back a smile, forgetting how formal and geeky Derek could be, the perfect complement for her wild and flirty Healing Shaman friend.

“Yeah, that’s right, I am now a woman of society. You have to refer to me with an honorific from this day onwards,” Nandile gently teased at Derek’s shy smile. Man, he was so adorable. Why couldn’t she be head over heels over someone as dependable as Derek? She was going to have a serious talk with Tiffany. 

Derek waved and glanced over her shoulder. His mouth thinned, likely seeing Kofi behind her. He gave a curt nod, then strode out to the parking lot. Tall savannah grass framed the path. A gentle breeze carried the scent of rain in the distance. She squinted up to see the sky was still clear with the Milky Way, the bright silver cosmic highway, illuminating the midnight sky. 

Sounds of rustling nearby, accompanied by the chirp of crickets and frogs continued to echo around her. She did not bother to verify the sound; she knew it was her Lion Totem Hunter escorts. There were more than a dozen Totem Hunter escorts in the vicinity, including several Totem Guard Enforcers.

Three dark silver Toyota Land Cruisers V8s with platinum Rhino Totem crests etched on the front doors sat waiting, hovering in the air. Kofi moved to stand beside Nandile, his arm casually draped over her shoulder in silent comfort. Nandile bit her inner cheek as she tried to not slump into Kofi. Then he would know Caleb had hurt her.

The middle SUV dropped lower, almost touching the asphalt before the door swung open, and Caleb stepped out of the vehicle. Nandile’s breath hitched as her eyes burrowed into him. Glancing up, their gazes collided. Caleb paused as a flash of male appreciation crossed his features. Then he exchanged a few sentences with Derek, who peered over his shoulder with a sad smile on his lips before he entered the car.

From here, Nandile could see Caleb’s chest rise and

fall deeply; he had to be taking in a deep inhale before he approached. Nandile did not make the mistake of looking up at Kofi as his body stiffened beside her before she left the protective circle of his embrace. He did not try and stop her because Caleb was hers, and hers alone, to handle. 

Nandile tried to stroll gracefully towards Caleb like a good Lion Totem female, her head held high. Full of all layers of emotions, she wanted to let out a scream - surely it would make her feel better? - but she bit her lower lip, drawing the metallic tang of blood into her mouth. Anything to ensure she stayed composed. 

“You look stunning, Lioness,” Caleb said in Afrikaans, his voice weary. His body moved stiffly, and he failed to hide the winces that peppered his face with every step. Was he in physical pain? Nandile did not care for the compliment, and he sure as hell did not deserve to use the nickname that meant more to her than he could ever know.

Not after he stood her up after asking her out. She had been looking forward to this night. She had even hoped maybe something more would have come out of it. Instead, he sat in the car like a coward, and for what? 

“Don’t you dare!” Nandile’s voice crackled in fury, the sound, even though low, a whip in the air. Caleb’s eyes widened and turned to the ground, but he remained silent.

“Why did you even come here tonight? To add insult to injury? Why are you like this? You asked me, Caleb, not the other way round! I thought…” Nandile stammered, not able to finish her sentence as emotions threatened to choke her.

Taking another inhale, she balled her hands and began to speak. Her voice dropped even further, barely a whisper, as she focused on caging her untamed emotions. She had to concentrate on being a serene Lion Totem female. 

“I thought maybe you cared about me as much as I cared about you.” Caleb’s eyes remained down cast. “Speak, Rhino.” 

Nandile shoved her index finger against Caleb’s chest. He visibly flinched, but remained silent. The telltale burn behind her eyes threatened her composure, but she jutted her chin forward in obstinance. Nandile’s lips trembled as they continued to stand there in silence, her manicured nails digging sharply into the palm of her hands as she desperately tried to stop herself from shaking. Caleb straightened and stared far off into the distance above her head.

“Nandile, I cannot see you again. I’m sorry,” he declared, without a shred of emotion in his voice. 

Nandile’s mouth gaped open, ready to catch all the mosquitoes that were out tonight. Caleb’s eyes finally flickered down to hers, winter-cold in his expression as his handsome features continued to harden. Then he turned to leave. Not even waiting for her response.

Nandile glared as she watched his broad back retreat from her. Her face heated as a wave of weightlessness overcame her; she felt like she was going to faint. Angry, her mind screamed for her to run after him, but her mother’s side, the Lion Totem, refused to allow her to follow - and her father’s side, all Buffalo, was too stubborn to chase him. 

Nandile stood frozen, not knowing what to do, when a bright flash coloured the sky in the distance followed by rumbling, drawing Nandile back into her body, back into the moment and into the emotions she wanted to erase like a bad sentence in a report. 

BOOM.

The force of the blast caused Nandile to fall flat on her face. Debris flung in all directions, crushing the front of the vehicle that Caleb had entered. The next thing Nandile knew, Kofi was above her, manoeuvring his body as a shield. Her heart fought to flee her chest as adrenaline pumped in her veins; she looked around trying to piece together what was going on, but Kofi’s log of a body restricted her movement. All she could hear was the crackle of fire burning dry grass and wood, the heat of the flames caressing her bare skin as blood-curdling screams pierced the night air.

“Long live the Knights of Xavier!” a woman shrieked in Tswana before the sound of multiple shots fired. 

Nandile’s blood froze. The Knights were here? Dread sprouted roots in the base of her belly until the emotion grew to every corner of her body. The Knights were an extremist group conducting illegal experiments, hoping to one day find the key to give everyone the ability to be a Spirit Walker.

It was no secret this was a ploy to take over the Totem Guard and let the world run with only Alpha Law.

Not only that, but they had also killed millions, sparking the Totem Wars, and were the sole reason Totem Librarians ceased to exist.

Nandile struggled to heave Kofi off her because he weighed a tonne. He resisted, but then finally moved from her. She peered up to see Kofi’s eyes obsidian black, and she knew her cousin-brother would no longer be the same again.

More screams sounded in the background, and Kofi remained crouched beside her, his face transforming slightly into his Totem animal, a buffalo. He was a Spirit Walker, and judging by the partial shift, he would likely become a Totem Hunter after he was trained. Only Totem Guardians had the ability to transform to their Totem animal completely.

The sound of metal screeching drew Nandile’s attention to the vehicle that Caleb was in. The car door flew past them, only for Nandile to spot Derek dragging Caleb out of the wreckage, his eyes also black. Kofi and Derek regarded each other, their eyes wide with confusion and knowing. Nandile gasped. They had both turned.

“Is he okay?” Kofi asked. He did not move from Nandile’s side. The dark surroundings were now bathed in golden light from the flames. Then the skies opened in a torrential downpour, yet the rain did nothing to abate the carnage that the fire was causing. 

“A stray piece of debris hit the vehicle, causing the glass to implode,” Derek muttered as he gently lay Caleb flat on the muddy ground.

Nandile’s heart sank as she crawled towards him. She could see the gold paint smudge on her body as the mud covered her. When she reached Caleb, half of his face was bloodied, with glass shards sticking out of his face and side. She shook, as a bone-crushing fear enveloped her.

“Is he alive?” Nandile’s voice came out more like a whimper.

“Yes, his heart is beating,” Derek answered distractedly. He glanced over his shoulder at the car, the driver’s side splattered in bloodstains and shattered glass. Another explosion sounded in the distance. They all gaped up to see the lodge, where most of the reed dance guests were staying, engulfed in flames. 

“Tiffany.” Derek’s eyes turned obsidian, and he sprinted off into the bush at speeds Nandile had never seen in such proximity. Kofi stared, watching as the flames continued to consume the building. He took a deep inhale, forcing his eyes to return to Nandile, his hand gently squeezing hers in silent comfort.

The Totem Hunters drew their sacred weapons - the lions’ spears, the rhinos’ studded clubs, the buffalos’ doubleaxed blades - the speed of their execution difficult to track to the naked eye, while the Totem Guard Enforcers used their upgraded weaponry to shoot and kill the Knights one by one. The movement would have been beautifully choreographed, if it was not so gory. Yet, Nandile could only focus on one Coetzee twin at a time, and this time it would have to be Caleb. She just hoped Tiffany would be okay.

“Caleb, please, open your eyes,” Nandile whispered as she clasped the side of his face that was not bloodied. Nothing.

“Long live the Xavier Knights!” another shout echoed in the distance. Guns firing, men yelling, flickers of fallen ash painting everything black. The reed dance ceremony hall was in flames, the smell of burning flesh wafting in the air. Nandile was going to be sick. More cries from the dying filled the air with their last songs of despair. Nandile thought of Chenoa. She bit her inner cheek as she held back the flood of tears that threatened to fall. 

“Caleb,” Nandile shook him; still nothing. Kofi suddenly jumped to his feet, then two strong arms grabbed her from behind, tugging her close. 

“We need to take you to safety, now!” Nandile recognised the voice as belonging to one of the Lion Totem Hunters.

Nandile had no choice. She could not fight; her strength equated to a grain of sand and the Totem Hunters’ to a mountain. Kofi remained beside them as they walked to safety, the gold-tipped spears of the Lion Totem Hunters glittering in the firelight.

All Nandile could see was their cat eyes scanning their surroundings like hungry predators. Two other Buffalo Totem Hunters joined; their copper-tipped double-axes on their back as they flanked the Lion Totem Hunters in a defensive formation.

“Her safety is the priority,” the female Lion Totem Hunter that had grabbed Nandile barked, her body coiled in tension, ready for anything. She was the direct line of the Chief of the Totem Guard; their Totem Alpha was also her grandmother. Her safety was always a priority but… “Caleb,” Nandile murmured softly.

“His Totem Hunters will assist.” Ama placed a reassuring hand on Nandile’s upper back. Ama was an experienced Buffalo Totem Hunter. Her uncle, the Buffalo Totem Alpha, had assigned her to train Kofi in case he ever received the calling to become a Spirit Walker. 

Ama’s eyes were always gentle, her kind words coupled with a warm sense of humour, unlike the predatory eyes of Lion Totem Hunters. Lion Totem Hunters did not care about comfort because their Totem Guardian did not think about comforting, only surviving or killing. 

Nandile nodded, as she fought to stop the wobble of her bottom lip as her eyes went back to Caleb to see his body swarmed by several Rhino Totem Hunters, their platinumtipped clubs at the ready on their sides.

All Hunters were dressed in fatigues the designated colour of their Totem. The Lions in navy with gold trim, the Buffalos in black and copper trim, and the Rhinos in grey with platinum trim. Their faces were covered except for their eyes peering through a slit that had a framed metallic thread that matched the colour of their weapons. It was always their eyes that gave Nandile the chills, because that was the last thing they wanted their enemies to see before they died by their hand.

Despite everything, at this moment Nandile wanted to see eyes: Caleb’s. She willed him to open his eyes so she would know he was safe, even though the world around them was burning to hell. The fire spread through the savannah grass, the gush of wind the accelerant, causing animals to flee in all directions while various Totem Hunters and Totem Guard Enforcers guided people and animals alike out of danger.

“Please wake up, Caleb,” Nandile whispered under her breath.

At that, Caleb jolted up straight, looking right at her, his dark grey eyes piecing her very soul with untold promises that would never be fulfilled. Tension left her body immediately. He reached his hand out as though he wanted to touch her.

 “Lioness,” Nandile felt more than heard him say. 

Another explosion erupted, and this time Nandile did not simply fall. Her body catapulted into the air, her reed skirt dutifully swaying with her uncoordinated movement. A moment of weightlessness washed over her. The Lion Totem Hunter leapt in the air to catch her, but was shot before she reached her. Nandile was falling, flailing, and failing to stay conscious.